Inevitable Divorce

1st November 2018 Pattaya, Thailand.

I write this with little anger and much sadness. It was of course inevitable. There was the age gap, culture gap, Language gap, of course but none of those was the reason we finally had to call it a day. What led to the end was a simple few words I said to her just before I left for the UK. "I would like it if you could come on this journey with me but if not you are not going to stop me and you are not going to slow me down!" The resulting dramatic end makes for a worthy story!

The marriage was never very stable. Yuy suffered from bouts of depression which had roots in her childhood and manifested itself in heavy drinking and violence. But we hung in there and generally had a happy 10 years. It all deteriorated markedly after I had my mini-stroke after which we separated for all intents and purposes. She wasn't happy with this and slid into depression which was being treated by a consultant psychiatrist. The complex mix of depression, drug treatment, alcohol dependence and me being very busy with work and my new project culminated in a final dramatic end play that surprised the hell out of me.

I had to make a quick trip to UK where I was there for just 5 days. When I left all was well, but when I arrived Messenger soon started up. The following is a transcript and is a little distressing to read. You can feel the mental health descend into paranoia.


Yuy

Chris

Nov 5, 2018, 1:46 PM

Children do not love at all.

STUPID!

I know. Sorry you hurt so much.

Sleep well honey

Nov 6, 2018, 1:48 AM

Do not come back. I be ok.

Sorry I come back 13. Love you all!

But I do not love you.

Sorry!

Then why you care I come back honey?

Nov 6, 2018, 6:52 AM

Are you not still on the plane?

Nov 7, 2018, 12:25 AM

I missed plane went Thai now Maidenhead. Tomorrow go waterfall hotel Devon.

Nov 7, 2018, 8:00 AM

(Picture of trees in Maidenhead

Where?

The trees are dying Maidenhead is it cold?

12 with rain and windy.

not bad.

No but will get worse.

Nov 9, 2018, 6:41 AM

(picture of colly god) Puppy Genghis in Barnstaple early morning walk.

lovely.

Nov 9, 2018, 4:48 PM

What he want?

Tell your friends Leave me alone

What’s up. I bought present for Alex lina today.

SO!

Where My deposit?

Deposit for what?

My!

Nov 9, 2018, 7:04 PM

You mean present? I not buy toy shop! Well, not that toy shop.

Nov 10, 2018, 1:02 AM

Crazy!!

If you come back Please come divorce me.

Nov 10, 2018, 3:57 AM

(picture of mini-digger)

From my friends for rent 3,000 day But no driver.

I would like to rent for smash Thai home!

If you do not!! You see MY!! Tread rubber. Some people do! You want me dead? Fi I dead!

Who will feed the children?

Nov 10, 2018, 5:39 AM

do not answer?

Show that everything is true. In what I say today!

Honey. What is all this? What is going on? Are you ok?

I do no KNOW! Now I not dead!!

Now I can not Sleep at home!

I have to take the children.

Go to sleep for Safe.

Somewhere else!

What are you talking about?

You ordered people to kill me.

Brian did not know it was you on Line. He thought it was another lady. No one is trying to hurt you.

Fucking lie!

I will go to the police station.

U guys Want to make war with me?

I not make war. Maybe good idea you go police. They can look the tyre.

I will call Mr. Oh. And mafia come to Check bill

You first is to hit it.

?????

Because you are a dictator.

You are ready to fight with me.

I told Brian same!

You guys mess with me first.

You wait for the pain.

Brian mean you no harm and I don’t also. I have asked Pakorn to help.

I'm ready to go to jail

You are prepared to die.

I have lost patience.

Tell your friends!

Nov 10, 2018, 9:42 AM

If I not save we are have to go back Sisaket soon.

Nov 11, 2018, 5:09 AM

Another 2-3 days will move to Sisaket.

Nov 11, 2018, 7:18 AM

If you want something, you can take it.

I don't want anything. I only want you and kids safe and ok.

We die soo

I will change the new number.

Wish you good luck.

Bye Chris

I give up!!

No you are better than that. You have allot. Just wait and try be calm.

No! I will go.

You can go stay my condo if you not feel safe. Just tell me I can call condo to give you key.

NO! THANK Annoy you

I will move the kids to another school.

Then I will not contact you again.


At this point, early on Friday morning, in Barnstaple, I had to step in as it was running dangerously out of control. After a phone call to a friend in Thailand I was alarmed by what they were learning. She was threatening others too who don't take kindly to such behavior. And I was worried about the children getting caught in the cross-fire.

So I called the local Devon and Cornwall police. In a couple of hours a pair of police turned up at my hotel and went through my phone taking loads of notes. At 06:00 Saturday I had a call from an Inspector Andy who said they had taken it up with the National Crime Agency who would apply to Interpol for an Urgent Protection Request. I also called my lawyer in Bangkok to tell him what I had done. He called her lawyer and the messaging stopped.

Monday was return day and in the departure gate I got a call from Inspector Andy to tell me the paperwork had arrived in Bangkok and I should expect a reception. Given he was not aware of the Thai police planned action he suggested I mention to the aircraft crew that I was being threatened. This I did which resulted in the final part of the story. The captain decided it would be safer to let me off the plane first and keep the other passengers waiting until I was safely in the terminal. Exactly that happened and within 10 minutes I had a call from the British Embassy to say that they were handling the Interpol matter and would I like any security?

When I returned I went up to the house to learn from neighbors that they had left. I took Genghis into protective custody. They came back 3 days later. The dog had been beaten and starved and has not been allowed back. He has since been well looked after and is back to full health. The kids were fine.

A week later, on Yuy's request we sat down with my lawyer and hers to thrash out the terms of a divorce.

The terms were essentially Yuy's proposal but in 2 she asked for joint-custody. I flatly resisted this and won the arguement with the lawyers who inserted the following 3 paragraphs. This is the result:

Since the meeting she has attempted to gain better terms directly with my lawyer, but those requests have been rebuffed. I am told that once signed and registered it effectively becomes a court order.

Divorce Agreement

THIS DIVORCE AGREEMENT is made on 25 December 2018 by and between: สัญญาหย่าฉบับนี้ ทำขึ้นเมื่อวันที่ ๒๕ ธันวาคม ๒๕๖๑ โดย และระหว่าง
Mr. Christopher Peter Ross, a British citizen, currently residing at (your condo address) , Chonburi, Thailand, hereinafter referred to as the “Husband” of the one part; and ๑) นายคริสโตเฟอร์ ปีเต้อร์ รอสส์ บุคคลสัญชาติสหราชอาณาจักร ปัจจุบันอยู่บ้านเลขที่ จังหวัดชลบุรี ประเทศไทย ซึ่งต่อไปในสัญญาฉบับนี้จะเรียกว่า “สามี” ฝ่ายหนึ่ง และ
2) Mrs. Wilaipron Ross, a Thai citizen, currently residing at 77/261 Moo 1, Ruen Pisa Village, Tambol Nongprue, Amphur Banglamung, Chonburi, Thailand, hereinafter referred to as the “Wife” of the other part. ๒) นางวิไลพร รอสส์ บุคคลสัญชาติไทย ปัจจุบันอยู่บ้านเลขที่ ๗๗/๒๖๑ หมู่ ๑ หมู่บ้านเรือนภิษา ตำบลหนองปรือ อำเภอบางละมุง จังหวัดชลบุรี ประเทศไทย ซึ่งต่อไปในสัญญาฉบับนี้จะเรียกว่า “ภรรยา” อีกฝ่ายหนึ่ง
WHEREAS: โดยที่:
A) The Husband and the Wife registered their marriage at Amphur Banglamung, on 12 February 2010; ก) สามีและภรรยาได้จดทะเบียนสมรสกัน ณ อำเภอบางละมุง เมื่อวันที่ ๑๒ กุมภาพันธ์ ๒๕๕๓
B) During their cohabitation, the Husband and the Wife have two children (the “Children”) namely: ข) ในระหว่างอยู่กินร่วมกัน สามี และภรรยามีบุตร (“บุตรทั้งสอง”) ด้วยกันสองคน ได้แก่
i) Angelina Ross, born on 17 July 2010; and ๑) แอนเจลีน่า วชิราพร รอสส์ เกิดเมื่อวันที่ ๑๗ กรกฎาคม ๒๕๕๓
ii) Alexander Ross, born on 26 May 2012. ๒) อแล็คซันเดอร์ ทศพล รอสส์ เกิดเมื่อวันที่ ๒๖ พฤษภาคม ๒๕๕๕
C) During the marriage, the Husband and the Wife have cumulated common properties and as of the date hereof those common properties are: ค) ในระหว่างสมรส สามี และภรรยามีสินสมรสร่วมกัน และ ณ วันที่ทำสัญญาฉบับนี้ สินสมรสดังกล่าว ได้แก่
i) Land covered by Title Deeds Nos. 183653 and 183654, Tambol Nongprue, Amphur Banglamung, Chonburi together with the house located thereon; ๑) ที่ดินโฉนดเลขที่ ๑๘๓๖๕๓ และ ๑๘๓๕๖๔ ตำบลหนองปรือ อำเภอบางละมุง จังหวัดชลบุรี พร้อมด้วยบ้านที่ตั้งอยู่บนที่ดินโฉนดเลขที่ดังกล่าว
ii) Land covered by Title Deed No. 128416, Tambol Nongprue, Amphur Banglamung, Chonburi together with the house located thereon; and ๒) ที่ดินโฉนดเลขที่ ๑๒๘๔๑๖ ตำบลหนองปรือ อำเภอบางละมุง จังหวัดชลบุรี พร้อมด้วยบ้านที่ตั้งอยู่บนที่ดินโฉนดเลขที่ดังกล่าว
iii) The car plate no. DorChor. 6219, Bangkok ๓) รถยนต์คันหมายเลขทะเบียน ฎฉ ๖๒๑๙ กรุงเทพมหานคร
iv) Yours and Yuy’s trucks  
NOW THEREFORE this deed witnesseth and the parties do and each of them doth mutually agree and covenant as follows: ดังนั้น บัดนี้ เอกสารฉบับนี้เป็นพยานหลักฐาน และคู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายตกลง และคู่สัญญาแต่ละฝ่ายตกลงร่วมกัน และสัญญากัน ดังต่อไปนี้
1. a) The Husband and the Wife agree to divorce from each other commencing from the date hereof. After 10 years of cohabitation it is agreed that for personal reasons this can no longer continue and that neither party seeks to blame the other for this circumstance or hold the other responsible. Through this Agreement the parties seek to provide a framework for all parties to continue their lives happily hereafter. The parties also agree that this Agreement is to last indefinitely into the future but are aware that circumstances may change beyond the parties control and facing with such changes the parties agree to use their best endavours to accommodate such unforeseen changes in the spirit of this Agreement. ๑. ก) สามี และภรรยาตกลงจะหย่าขาดจากอีกฝ่ายนับจากวันที่ลงในสัญญาฉบับนี้เป็นต้นไป ภายหลังจากอยู่กินกันฉันสามีภรรยาเป็นระยะเวลา ๑๐ ปี เป็นที่ตกลงร่มกันว่าว่าด้วยเหตุผลส่วนตัว เหตุการณ์นี้ไม่อาจดำเนินต่อไป และคู่สัญญาแต่ละฝ่ายมิได้กล่าวโทษอีกฝ่ายหนึ่ง หรือ กล่าวอ้างให้อีกฝ่ายหนึ่งรับผิดชอบเหตุการณ์ที่เกิดขึ้น โดยสัญญาฉบับนี้ คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายแสวงหากรอบความตกลงที่จะทำให้คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายดำรงชีวิตต่อไปอย่างมีความสุข คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายยังตกลงร่วมกันต่อไปอีกว่าสัญญาฉบับนี้ให้บังคับระหว่างกันต่อไปไม่มีกำหนดสิ้นสุดในอนาคต และตระหนักดีว่าเหตุการณ์อาจเปลี่ยนแปลงไปนอกเหนือความควบคุมของคู่สัญญา และในกรณีที่ประสบความเปลี่ยนแปลงเช่นนั้น คู่สัญญาตกลงร่วมกันที่จะใช้ความพยายามอย่างดีที่สุดเพื่อก้าวข้ามเหตุเปลี่ยนแปลงดังกล่าว โดยคำนึงถึงหลักการสำคัญของสัญญาฉบับนี้
In all matters relating to this Agreement the Husband and the Wife agree to keep at all times and in all circumstances that the best interests the Children will take priority over their personal interests and they agree to endavour to put personal feelings aside when seeking to resolve matters jointly involving the Children. The Wife will move from the house no. 77/261 Moo 1, Ruen Pisa Village, Amphur Nongprue, Amphur Banglamung, Chonburi, Thailand. The Wife will find a new place to reside. Both parties are free from each other to reside in such place and carry on any business as he/she may choose. ไม่ว่าในกรณีใดๆ ที่เกี่ยวข้องกับสัญญาฉบับนี้ สามีและภรรยาตกลงว่าให้ถือประโยชน์สูงสุดของบุตรทั้งสองเป็นข้อสำคัญไม่ว่าในเวลา หรือ ในเหตุการณ์ใดๆ เหนือกว่าประโยชน์ส่วนตัวของตน และคู่สัญญาตกลงจะพยายามไม่ใช้ความรู้สึกส่วนตัวของตนในขณะที่ต้องดำเนินการเกี่ยวข้องกับบุตรทั้งสองร่วมกัน ภรรยาจะย้ายออกจากบ้านเลขที่ ๗๗/๒๖๑ หมู่ ๑ หมู่บ้านเรือนภิษา ตำบลหนองปรือ อำเภอบางละมุง จังหวัดชลบุรี ประเทศไทย โดยภรรยาจะได้หาที่อาศัยใหม่ต่อไป คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายต่างเป็นอิสระจากกันที่จะอาศัยอยู่ในสถานที่ดังกล่าว และดำเนินกิจธุระใดๆ ตามที่ตนประสงค์
b) Neither party nor any person on their behalf will at any future time in any way directly or indirectly annoy, disturb or interfere with the other party in his/her personal business or manner of life as from the date hereof. ข) คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่าย และบุคคลใดๆ ที่กระทำการแทนคู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายจะต้องไม่ รบกวน ขัดขวาง หรือ ยุ่งเกี่ยวกับคู่สัญญาอีกฝ่ายในกิจธุระส่วนตัวหรือการดำเนินชีวิตของคู่สัญญาฝ่ายนั้นไม่ว่าโดยตรงหรือโดยอ้อมนับจากวันที่ลงในสัญญาฉบับนี้เป็นต้นไป
2. The Husband and the Wife agree that the Husband will have the sole parental power over the Children. ๒. สามีและภรรยาตกลงว่าให้สามีเป็นผู้ใช้อำนาจปกครองบุตรทั้งสองแต่เพียงผู้เดียว
The parties mutually agree that neither parent will use or threaten use of violence on the Children. คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายตกลงร่วมกันว่าไม่ว่าฝ่ายใดฝ่ายหนึ่งจะไม่ใช้หรือข่มขู่ว่าจะใช้ความรุนแรงกับบุตรทั้งสอง
During the first six months after execution of this Agreement, the Wife agrees that she will not visit the Children in order to ease them to adjust themselves with new environment living with the Husband. ในช่วงระยะเวลาหกเดือนภายหลังจากที่ทำสัญญาฉบับนี้ ภรรยาตกลงว่าจะไม่ไปพบบุตรทั้งสองเพื่อให้บุตรทั้งสองได้ปรับตัวกับสภาพแวดล้อมใหม่ที่ต้องอยู่อาศัยกับสามี
After the period of six months after execution of this Agreement, the Wife has the right to visit the Children at any time upon proper prior notice. ภายหลังจากหกเดือนภายหลังจากที่ทำสัญญาฉบับนี้ ภรรยามีสิทธิที่จะพบบุตรทั้งสองได้ในเวลาใดๆ โดยบอกกล่าวล่วงหน้าอย่างเหมาะสม
In the case the Husband will move the Children to stay overseas, the Husband will notify the Wife in advance. If the stay will be longer than six months, the Husband shall support expenses for the Wife to visit the Children at least once per six months. ในกรณีที่สามีจะย้ายบุตรทั้งสองไปอาศัยอยู่ต่างประเทศ สามีจะต้องแจ้งภรรยาล่วงหน้า ในกรณีที่การอาศัยนั้นเกินกว่าหกเดือน สามีจะต้องสนับสนุนค่าใช้จ่ายเพื่อให้ภรรยาพบบุตรทั้งสองอย่างน้อยหนึ่งครั้งต่อหกเดือน
3. The Wife agrees to give all of the common property above to the Husband except for the car plate no. which the parties agree that it shall belong solely to the Wife. ๓. ภรรยาตกลงยกสินสมรสทั้งหมดข้างต้นให้สามียกเว้นรถยนต์หมายเลขทะเบียน ซึ่งคู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายตกลงว่าให้ตกเป็นกรรมสิทธิ์ของภรรยาแต่เพียงฝ่ายเดียว
The Husband agrees that all common property he receives under this Agreement except for the car plate no. shall be transferred to the Children. The Wife agrees to extend all necessary cooperation for the transfer. สามีตกลงว่าสินสมรสทั้งหมดที่ตนได้รับตามสัญญาฉบับนี้เว้นแต่รถยนต์หมายเลขทะเบียน จะถูกโอนให้แก่บุตรทั้งสอง ภรรยาตกลงจะให้ความร่วมมือทั้งหมดที่จำเป็นแก่การโอนดังกล่าว
The Husband agrees to pay the Wife 3,000,000 Baht dividing into 3 installments as follows: สามีตกลงชำระเงินให้แก่ภรรยาจำนวน ๓,๐๐๐,๐๐๐ บาท แบ่งเป็นสามงวดดังต่อไปนี้
The Husband agrees to pay the Wife 3,000,000 Baht dividing into 3 installments as follows: สามีตกลงชำระเงินให้แก่ภรรยาจำนวน ๓,๐๐๐,๐๐๐ บาท แบ่งเป็นสามงวดดังต่อไปนี้
- The first installment in the amount of 1,000,000 Baht payable upon execution of this Agreement; . - งวดแรกจำนวน ๑,๐๐๐,๐๐๐ บาท ชำระเมื่อทำสัญญาฉบับนี้
- The second installment in the amount of 1,000,000 Baht payable within the third month after execution of this Agreement; and - งวดที่สองจำนวน ๑,๐๐๐,๐๐๐ บาท ชำระภายในเดือนที่สามหลังจากทำสัญญาฉบับนี้
- The final installment in the amount of 1,000,000 Baht payable within the sixth month after execution of this Agreement. - งวดสุดท้ายจำนวน ๑,๐๐๐,๐๐๐ บาท ชำระภายในเดือนที่หกหลังจากทำสัญญาฉบับนี้
The parties agree that there will be no further claim for monthly support, alimony and common property against each other. The Husband agrees support all expenses regarding the Children. คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายตกลงว่า จะไม่มีการเรียกร้องเงินช่วยเหลือรายเดือน ค่าเลี้ยงดู และสินสมรสต่อกันอีกต่อไป สามีตกลงชำระค่าใช้จ่ายทั้งหมดที่เกี่ยวข้องกับบุตรทั้งสอง
4. The parties hereby confirm that they have no common debt from their marriage. Each party shall be responsible for his/her own debt. ๔. คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายยืนยันว่าไม่มีหนี้ร่วมที่เกิดจากการสมรสของตน คู่สัญญาแต่ละฝ่ายจะต้องรับผิดชอบในหนี้ของตนเอง
5. The parties agree that this Agreement shall terminate the Separation Agreement dated 9 February 2018. ๕. คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายตกลงว่าสัญญาฉบับนี้ยกเลิกสัญญาแยกกันอยู่ฉบับลงวันที่ ๙ กุมภาพันธ์ ๒๕๖๑
6. The parties shall register their divorce on 25 December 2018 at Banglamung District Office. This Agreement shall also be registered as part of the divorce. ๖. คู่สัญญาจะต้องไปจดทะเบียนหย่ากันในวันที่ ๒๕ ธันวาคม ๒๕๖๑ ณ อำเภอบางละมุง สัญญาฉบับนี้จะต้องถูกจดทะเบียนเป็นส่วนหนึ่งของการหย่าด้วย
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, both parties set their hands on the date above written at 77/261 Moo 1, Ruen Pisa Village, Amphur Nongprue, Amphur Banglamung, Chonburi, Thailand. This Agreement is made in duplicate having the same contents. Each party retain one copy. เพื่อเป็นพยานหลักฐาน คู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายได้ลงลายมือชื่อไว้ในวันที่ข้างต้น ที่ ๗๗/๒๖๑ หมู่ ๑ หมู่บ้านเรือนภิษา ตำบลหนองปรือ อำเภอบางละมุง จังหวัดชลบุรี ประเทศไทย สัญญาฉบับนี้ทำขึ้นเป็นคู่ฉบับมีข้อความถูกต้องตรงกัน และคู่สัญญาทั้งสองฝ่ายเก็บรักษาไว้ฝ่ายละฉบับ
The Husband ( Mr. Christopher Peter Ross ) สามี ( นายคริสโตเฟอร์ ปีเต้อร์ รอสส์ )
The Wife ( Mrs. Wilaipron Ross ) ภรรยา ( นางวิไลพร รอสส์ )
Witness ( Mr. Pakorn Ounhirunskul ) พยาน ( นายปกรณ์ อุ่นหิรัญสกุล )
Witness ( Mr. Pattanachok Chanpet ) พยาน ( นายพัฒนโชค จั่นเพ็ชร์ )

26th December 2018 Pattaya, Thailand.

The 25th December contract signing failed to materialise. I was forwarned by my lawyer that Yuy was intending to take Alexander and Angelina to her home village in Sisaket. Both lawyers have now left the field in dispair and I have been deliverd back the land deeds for the three properties. In a final flourish, on learning that I had bought a digger and parked it at the Thai house, Yuy asked her police friend to have me and Jordan "locked up"!

So we had an entertaining 3 hours in Nongprue police box navigating our way out of that fate. Why she has done this is anyone guess. But the situation now will have to pass to the Family Court to enforce the above contract.

27th December 2018 This remarkable 30 min BBC Radio 4 program is my tribute to our marriage.

9th January 2019 Pattaya, Thailand.

Yuy, Alex and Lina returned from Si Saket and re-started school, still without any communication with me. I paid the half-yearly school fees and met with a lawyer, Paiboon, who took the papers and spoke to Yuy on the phone. Later he reported that she had said that now she did not want a divorce. So now we will have to go to court, and to enforce contact, to child protection.

6th March 2019 Pattaya, Thailand.

Things have moved on a pace with the Alexander and Angelina Engineering Inspiration Certer with almost all of the 3 million THB spent on the disputed Pattaya campus site. The divorce pettition has been lodged with the Chonburi Family Court and the hearing set for 29th April. Because I am asking for full sole custody of Alex and Lina, the court has asked for a report fron the Child Welfare Office and we have been called to attend on 13th March. I am asking the court to grant an enforced divorce on the grounds of consistant and repeated violence. In short, terroristic behaviour, which has continued throughout February which led to the closing of work on the campus. I will argure in court that this means that the court must find "fault" and under Thai law I am therefore entitled to compensation which should amount to her share of the "common property". There are other arguements (e.g. return of gift in marriage, repeated breach of Bond of Good Behaviour, etc.) that can and will be used to ensure that "violence doesn't pay."

25th April 2019 Pattaya, Thailand.

The divorce hearing at Chonburi Family Court is due to be heard on 29th April 2019 and as Angelina and Alex are on summer holidays and Yuy says she is working, she asked me to take care of them until 1st May 2019 which is what I have been doing now since 5th April, for which I have hired a wonderful Nanny through a professional Agency in Bangkok, named, ironically, King. Yuy, meanwhile has rather pointedly moved her "New Boyfriend" into th family house and declared herself "very happy". With these developments my lawyer is more sure than ever that a divorce will be granted as I have requested.

29th April 2019 Chonburi Family Court, Thailand.

Plaintive Personal Statement

I, Christopher Peter Ross, being the Plaintive in the case, would like to enter the following statement in the case with the intention of assisting the court in understanding why I have brought the case and to suggest to the court how it can be brought to a successful conclusion.

It is my understanding that under law the court is obliged to give the highest importance in it's consideration of the case to the welfare and interests of the children, Alex and Angelina, in preference to the individual interests of the adults in the case. I applaud this principal and will frame my statement with that in mind.

History of the relationship

In a stable happy relationship there is usually a balance of power between husband and wife, often subtle and rarely advertised to outsiders, but there nonetheless. Early in our marriage it became obvious to Yuy that I held more levers of power than she did. She was a poor young Issarn peasant with limited education, no profession and very limited life experience. Whereas I had life savings, owned a company in the UK, had 4 previous children, traveled all over the world and had a regular salary. Yuy sought to compensate for this by using other ways to obtain more power in the marriage. The first example was to deter me from learning Thai. Without fluent Thai, I was dependent on her help for even quite small interactions with local people and organizations. I didn't like it but I felt that if it made her feel valued it would be beneficial to the marriage.

However, after our first child Angelina was born another more disturbing method of righting the power imbalance started. The use of unexpected and unprovoked violence. Instances were many and grew in severity. If I didn't give her what she wanted, she would find some pretext to physically attack me. The practice is quit straightforward and was also effective, at least to start with. The attack would leave me traumatized and fearful of a repeat, I was compliant to her demands at first. She was using terror to get things that otherwise she wouldn't.

I took what measures I could to stop this behavior, including legal ones, as the court is aware. But as the years passed and the children got older, rather than calming her violent behavior, it became more severe, culminating in life threatening attacks with weapons. She also learnt that there was little downside for her. Thai law and police practice means that she risks no penalty for the use of serious violence, and it helps her in influence with others, or so she thought. "Look what I did to my husband...." The implied threat is :"I can do it to you too!". It was also useful in battles with her maternal family putting pressure on her, usually for money. "You made me do this and now my husband has run away." by the end of 2018 the situation was becoming intolerable for everyone and her social standing among friends and the community had hit rock bottom But she could not stop, If she were to stop the violence she feared loosing all power, so she had to routinely reinforce fear and anxiety to get what she wanted.

It was also having a growing impact on me, the children and many friends. She was threatening to kill me in social media in direct messages. She at one point sought help from a Psychiatrist at Bangkok Hospital, but that did not help. After a ridiculous episode which involved the UK police and subsequently Interpol, she requested from my lawyer that I give her a divorce. In a meeting with both lawyers I agreed to terms she had requested and a date of 25th Dec 2018 was set for execution of the Divorce Settlement. She did not attend and sign but instead implied that she would escalate her financial demands. On my refusal the terrorist behavior continued. This, then, is the history that led me to lodge this case with the court.

Why have I taken this case to court

The history does not explain why I have to go to court, it only puts my reasons into context. I have to divorce because this is the only way I can see of stopping her campaign of terror, with all its negative impacts on the children, herself and myself and friends and family. They are:

On the children On Yuy On me On friends and family

They do not have their Dad staying with them because their father is to scared to stay. They know this and are therefore afraid their mother could do the same to them. They, particularly Angelina, is anxious about her mother's health and happiness as she sees her so often distraught, drunk and angry drunk.

Yuy's health has deteriorated. She suffers from depression. This is made worse by a decline in her success in controlling events and people around her. She has shown in the past she is capable of self-harm and I worry she may resort to that as a form of blackmail. She also runs the risk of going that bit too far and ending up in prison, which wont be good for her or the children.

My health has and continues to deteriorate. I not only carry the physical scars, but more significantly the emotional and psychological scars of a victim of terrorism. This effects every aspect of my life. I am no good to my children as a mental wreck, or disabled, or even dead.

Those close enough to know how Yuy behaves stay away from us. Wives and mothers in particular fear her or simply regard her with disgust.We do not get invited to parties or functions as a family. Some friends are openly afraid. The issue of Yuy's treatment of me has fractured my relationships with my other children as I refuse to leave Alex and Lina for the safety of a home in the UK, which is their wish.

I have been living with a terrorist and it has to somehow stop before it ends in tragedy or inflicts permanent harm to the children.

Over the years I have tried everything; showering her with gifts, forgiving her time and time again, getting her to sign a promise to stop. Living separately. All have failed. One reason they have failed is because she feels she has the right to behave in this way because we are married. She can't be punished for crimes against a husband. She also believes that if I die she will get everything, even if she is linked to my death.

If, as I do, believe that being married is contributing to the children's and my unhappiness, then the logical and responsible course of action is to seek a courts help to achieve this. There is also the possibility of the court imposing additional constraints on Yuy to curtail her from threatening or using violence against us.

Agelina's birthday card to Jordan - 18th May 2019

Angelina's birthday card for big brother Jordan's 19th birthday on 23rd May 2019

It depicts a fantasy mythical scene of two opposing Super-Goddesses competing for power (K = King, her Nanny and S = Sunni, her Dad's Fixer) in the sky above Lina's family all holding hands in unity, which includes W = Water Melon, Yuy's puppy that died a week after Lina drew this, G = Genghis, T = Tasha. JamieRossUKMom is really Jamie Ross and then Yuy. The bone on the right is a bit of a mystery.

5th June 2019 Chonburi Family Court, Thailand.

Our Day in Court with a Bizarre Twist

The following must be the most colorful bit of Caliach customization I have ever done. I had been toying with a system for producing fake drivers licenses modeled on the Thai car license but for Steam Train Drivers on the AAAEIC project. Alex and Lina didn't want to go to school that morning - they wanted to go to court! In trying to persuade them, I printed out drivers licenses for them (Note the Restrictions of use). I had copies with me in court and had given Yuy them. I had argued successfully that our house and land should go to the kids (currently they are in Yuy's name because, as a non-Thai, I couldn't own land). The process went down to the wire from 9am to 2pm. It was the only case of the day, handled by one Judge to thrash out what the court would do, then the lawyers wrote up the court order and finally another Judge went through that in great detail, double checking that everything was fair and legal. She got to the land transfer bit and balked. "The land can't go to the children because they are too young and Dad is a foreigner! The lawyers huddled around explaining that a company would be formed as a temporary vehicle until they were old enough......."What company? I have to put a name!". At that point Yuy's lawyer said...."We have one already and went and grabbed Alex's License I'd printed that morning to show the judge. She looked at it carefully and pronounced she was happy and proceeded to read out the Court Order that gives me full custody of the kids, transfers the properties to AAAEIC Foundation for the kids and forces a divorce. What a relief! It would have all fallen apart without my customization and the kids not wanting to go to school that morning. Must be the most bizarre end to a marriage there could have been!

Alex Steam Train Driver License - 5th June 2019

The following are the court papers with tranlation into English:

  • The Court Order:
    CourtOrder  Court Order
  • The Compromise Aggreement-1:
    DivorceAggreement-1_th  DivorceAggreement-1_en
  • The Compromise Aggreement-2:
    DivorceAggreement-2_th  DivorceAggreement-2_en
  • The Compromise Aggreement-3:
    DivorceAggreement-3_th  DivorceAggreement-3_en
  • The Compromise Aggreement-4:
    DivorceAggreement-4_th  DivorceAggreement-4_en
  • The Divorce Registration:
    DivorceCert_th